Nealligan's Island
by Rogue Wildmage
Summary: Neal and Kel are trapped on a desert island with nothing but and endless supply of food and water, and all their personal belongings. Guaranteed randomness. KelNeal in later chapters
1. Through a series of Misadventures

**Nealligan's Island**

Hey guys! Soz that none of my other stories have been updated recently, but I've had yearlies. I wrote this in half an hour when I was reeli bored, but if I get 5 or so reviews, I mite continue it. Tell me if u like! Sorry its so short. But the idea is that it is short, and fairly random.

Chapter one – A series of misadventures

Once upon a time, Kel and Neal were stuck on a desert island. They weren't sure why they were on the desert island, but Neal thought it might have had something to do with his telling Alanna that her new haircut made her look like Lord Wyldon, someone Alanna had never got on with at the best of times.

Anyway, Neal wasn't very pleased about the whole desert island deal, because he just happened to be there on his wedding day, the one day in his whole sorry, sarcastical life he couldn't afford to miss. Kel wasn't very pleased either, because she had spent rather a large amount of time making sure Neal would actually remember to turn up to his wedding day looking acceptable, and now, it seemed, that it had all been for naught.

Nevertheless, they were very much stuck on the island, with very little but a lifetime's supply of food and fresh water, and all their personal possessions. Of course, this state was, to both of them, completely unacceptable.

"I WANT YUKI!" Neal moaned on the third day, as Kel was making dinner "I miss her! Her long, black hair, and creamy skin, the smooth fabric of her kimono, the deep brown pools of her eyes, the way her hand fits so neatly in mine, I can never be complete without her, never!"

Kel sighed, if Neal was going to be like this for the entire time they were on the island, she was going to have a pretty lousy time "Stop moaning Meathead!" She snapped "Honestly, you'd think you were in love with her or something, now eat your vegetables"

"Oh, no Kel, I wasn't in love with Yuki" He drawled sarcastically "That's why I spend all of my time with her, and that's why I'm going to marry her"

"If we ever get off this island that is" Kel sighed

"Of course we're going to get of this island!" Neal laughed "Like I could survive for the next 20 years without seeing a single female"

Kel glared at him over her bowl of food.

"I'm sorry Kel, but I must honestly say that you don't count as feminine company" Neal drawled, his mouth full of meat "I mean" he munched "Nothing against you or anything, but it's not like I could ever, I don't know, kiss you or anything"

Kel humphed quietly to herself, and here she had been, thinking how nice and tanned he'd been getting from the sun! "So, what I believe you are saying Sir Nealan" she replied, wiping her mouth neatly with a napkin "Is that you, to coin a term I have heard Cleon use many a time, would not go out with me if I was the last woman on earth?"

"Pretty much!" he mumbled, mouth still full of meat and sauce. "No offence Kel, but it would be like going out with my brother"

Kel glared at him again.

"I mean, sister" he gulped, only too aware that he was within slapping range.

So, the days went past, and the months slipped by, and it soon became clear that Neal and Kel were not going to get of the island anytime soon.


	2. The love of my other life

**Nealligan's Island**

Wow! Talk about an overwhelming response! And I'm glad you guys liked it, cos I do too. It's much more fun to write than my other stories, but feel free to check them out 2 (and review them!!!) It'd be great if you could review this one 2 though, cos it's a bit of an experiment for me and I'm not sure wot ppl think. (LJ dun like it, but LJ is a bum) Newayz, tell me if u like!

Luv, JiLL

p..s Soz, I noe some of it is a little strange

Chapter Two – The love of my (other) life

"KEL!" Neal yelled, "Have you seen my shirt?"

Kel rolled her eyes in exasperation. They had been on the island for about a week now, and she was beginning to despair of the lack of human company _'Why couldn't I get stuck on the island with Dom?' _she thought _'Mmmmmmm, Dom….imagine if it was me and him on this island….alone...' _

"KELLLLLL!!!!" Neal yelled.

Kel jerked herself out of her reverie and focused on the brown headed man in front of her. The brown haired, shirtless man in front of her. The brown haired, green eyed, tanned, shirtless hottie in front of her.

"I asked you if you'd seen my shirt!" Neal said, looking at her, concern filling his eyes, although Kel wasn't really looking at his eyes, she was more concerned with his abs.

"Forget Dom" whispered Kel

"What?" Neal asked "What about Dom? Are you guys courting? 'Cos he told me you're not, but you seem to talk about him a lot, and…"

"What?" Kel said, coming back to reality "Me and Dom? No! We're just friends. Good friends. Why would we go out, I mean, he's nice enough and everything, and I know he's your cousin and all, but, he's just… not my type" Kel stopped babbling long enough to sigh with relief "Yeah, that's it, I mean, me and him, we just wouldn't get along for two minutes without…." Kel stopped, finally realising that Neal's eyebrows were now buried in his fringe.

"Right, someone's acting normal today" Neal quipped, lowering his eyebrows a little. "Still, I don't suppose you've seen my shirt?"

Kel laughed "But you have all your personal possessions!" she laughed "That weird girl….ummmm, what's her name?"

"The author?" suggested Neal

"Yeah her! She said so in the first chapter! Just wear another shirt!" Kel said exasperatedly

Neal sighed and looked at the ground "I can't" he replied "I gave them all to Yuki."

Kel blinked at Neal for a few seconds.

"Do I want to know?" she finally asked

"Well, she is the love of my life" he said, sitting down on the beach next to Kel "Or….you know, my life before we got stuck on this island…and she, well she kinda tore a few of them…"

"May I ask why?" Kel asked incredulously

"Well, once it was because she was angry with me, and the other time…well I don't think you really want to know about that" He replied, grinning.

"OKKKKK then" Kel replied "I won't ask if you won't tell"

"Good, 'cos I'm not telling"

"Good"

"Good"

"Good"

"We never did figure out what happened to my shirt"

Kel rolled her eyes for what seemed like the 50th time that morning. "Well, where did you last see it?" she asked tiredly.

"I dumped it in the ocean" Neal replied, sarcastically "I hung it up on that tree! That else would I have done with it!"

Kel looked at her friend quizzically, fearing that all the hot sun may finally be starting to get to him "Yes Neal, of course you did"

"I know I did"

"Well I don't know where it is," Kel said, finally. "But I do know that I'm tired of this conversation. I'm going swimming."

"Well them I'm going swimming to" Neal replied

Kel looked at him strangely, one eyebrow raised.

"Well there's no one else around I can talk too, is there?" He quipped

"S'pose not."

"Exactly"

"Exactly"

"Exactly"

"So, last one in's in love with Lord Wyldon?" Kel giggled, unbuttoning her shirt.

Neal watched, transfixed, as she struggled with the buttons. The thought had only just occurred to him '_Hey, they haven't invented swimmers yet, have they? _(No Neal, they haven't.) _so….what's she going to wear to go swimming in…..??' _Neal raised an eyebrow as his thoughts fell into the gutter. He hastily tried to pick them up again, but he couldn't help but think…._'She can't, she wouldn't!' _he thought, glancing hastily at Kel

"Kel! I'm a married man!" He yelled, pulling her hands away from the offending buttons.

"What?" Kel asked, confused "No you're not!"

"Yes but that doesn't mean you can just…just" he gestured towards her hands, which were not by her sides and beginning to shake with laughter.

"What?" Kel said "You thought I was going to strip for you or something?"

"No" Neal replied, blushing. This made Kel laugh even harder because, Lets face it, Neal doesn't blush, Cleon blushes, Owen blushes. And Merric friggin never stops blushing, but Neal, well, Neal's too good for blushing; He just saunters along through life, far too self assured for his own good really and….

"Will you shut up! It's sunburn!"

Sorry Neal, I know you're ego must be very bruised by now, seeing as we've all caught you blushing and all, but really, you don't need to deny it, we all know that you're obviously a bit distressed and…

"Can you please just get on with the story, PLEASE?"

Sigh anyway, somewhere between staring at Neal's red cheeks and thinking that making him blush really was rather healthy for all involved, it finally seemed to hit home for Kel just what Neal had been implying. This of course, made Kel curious as to just how Neal's mental health was at that moment. This of course, led her to play amateur psychologist, a game you probably play with your friends often, with varying degrees of success.

"So, Neal, How are you feeling anyway?" Kel said, voice shaking, yours would to if you'd just realised your best friend was as dirty as Neal is being in this fic.

"What do you mean! I'm stuck on a tropical island with my best friend and all my worldly possessions! This sucks!" Neal replied, wading knee deep into the water and avoiding watching Kel unbutton her shirt.

"I bet you're missing Yuki" Kel said kindly, remembering how much she had been missing Dom. Not that she and Dom were dating or anything.

"Yeah, I am, a lot" he admitted, looking down into the clear blue waters. "It's…well, I know it's crazy but…sometimes, when I'm lying in bed, just staring up at the stars, I think I can hear her, calling out to me, and maybe that's what true love is Kel" he continued, turning to look at her. She had removed her shirt and was now wearing a type of undershirt that covered everything, but appeared to be brief in all the wrong places. Still, Neal is finishing his nice little speech, so lets pretend he hasn't noticed yet, ok? "Maybe it's having someone near even when they're far away and…and….and maybe that's why you feel like you have to try and miss them"

Neal finished and once again fixed his eyes on the clear, blue pools that swirled around their feet. Kel, having been raised as a boy, was not sure what to say, yet, as a girl, she could walk up to him, put her arm around him, and tell him that she would be there for him.

So she did.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Yuki peered intently into the crystal ball that clearly showed her husband wrapped up in another woman's arms. Grimly, she picked up the quill next to her, and wrote in a curly scrawl:

_Mama, _

_You were right all along, he is a cheating bastard. You know what to do. _

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hahahahhaaa. That was without a doubt the weirdest piece of literature I have ever written. But you were right all along LJ, Yuki is a royal mnner. Still, you guys know what to do….

**REVIEW!!!!!!! DAMMIT!!!!!!!**

**And thanx to the following ppl who did:**

**Dreamerdoll** – Yes, Neal can be a butthead, although Neal actually went all philosophical on Kel in this chappie I reckon, or, as philosophical as he can get while he's playing desert island anywayz. Thanx for reviewing.

**Alenor** – Aha! You just think they're stuck on an island but reeeli…..they're just, well, stuck on an island. Soz, I'm in a weerd mood.

**LJ4Neal** – Well did u reeli want them to starve to death? Huh? HUH? Do ya? You're meant to be supportive of me! Ur my BEST FRIEND! Although thankfully not in the same way Kel and Neal are best friends, ick. Newayz, glad u like this chappie better.

**PsychoLioness13** – What can I say but thankyou!

**Terrilin** – I'm glad u like it! Hope u liked this chappie 2.

**jess131346/jess-darkwater** – Hmmmm, the coconut song. That's not a bad idea u noe…..

**Protectress of the Small** – I did go read ur stories, and I will review them, but I kinda forgot at the time, still, I'll do it now. Glad u liked it!

**Kittymage** – Yes, I will continue. Now. Because I am obsessed with this fic, so sorry to anyone who liked any of the others!

**Dragon and the Wild mage** – Cool name, and yes I will continue to continue.

**Elmthesmartypants** – LOL rite back

**Mustang Gal** – Thanx!

**Aldalote** – Yes, I;m quite interested in finding out what happens to, but it will depend on what mood I'm in at the time.

**Fairytale-princess-504** – I don't know what I'd do if you died, which is part of the reason I'm updating. Admittedly not a very big part, but that doesn't mean I don't love you for reviewing!


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